So much goodness in last night’s episode, it’s a little overwhelming to even begin this post. So here I go: Following one of the best episode openings of the season, featuring Michael Scott performing something he learned in “Magic Camp”, some of the Dunder Mifflin higher up and Dwight head over to the CFO’s (not his initials) house for a cocktail party. Michael shows up a few hours early with spoiled potato salad, as he is wont to do. Dressed like the caterers of course. Then the guests arrive, include a very rrrrandy Jan, who begs Michael to get rough with her during a spontaneous makeout session. Poor Jan forgets that Michael has the sexual intellect of a 5-year-old and found her advances to be “completely inappropriate.” We’d like to take the time now to pay tribute to Jan’s best talking head ever:
“I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside, I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse into myself like a dying star.”
p.s. Is Jan preggers? Just putting that idea out there. Meanwhile, Jim is there with Karen as his date, who tricks him into believe she’s a raging nymp-ho-maniac, and Dwight keeps busy by making the other guests lose their appetite (”Oh you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That’s feces.”) and scaring the sh*t out of little children by sitting in their rocking chairs while they sleep.
On the other side of town, the Dunderlings head over to Meredith’s stomping ground, Poor Richards’ Bar, where we discovery Creed is a local celeb among teens — thanks to a crafty fake ID biz he runs out of his car. We also get a glimpse at the new “Honest Pam“, who has decided she’s sick of being a pushover and will start to express her feelings to people. She wastes no time, divulging to the ever-sickening Roy that she kissed Jim on Casino Night, after he told her of his feelings. His reaction? Falls somewhere between Bobby Brown picking out Doodyboogers and Britney Spears shaving her head. In. Sane. And we were left with the 5 most disturbing words ever uttered in sitcom history.
We haven’t been this scared since we saw Sleeping with the Enemy at the tender age of 10. NOT JIM! NOT OUR JIM! But the even worse news? Officetally is reporting that the next new episode won’t air for another SIX WEEKS! That’s six weeks of prime murdering time, people. Ugh. NBC’s got a deleted scene up, and more will be popping up over the next week. Any suggestions for how to kill time until April so we don’t end up killing ourselves?