october 13th, 2006.

why is it that i alwasy blog about the night before, the day after?? i guess i'm weird like that. i have been blogging sort of long, personal posts of late too. i guess there's more to me than just tv and video games after all. i do it all for you, the 'book of jeff-er.'

so where to start. yesterday. friday the 13th. got up kinda early after a long night. i wasn't that tired surprisingly. showered. went to the doctor's to get a shot. not pleasant. just think, next friday i get to go to the dentist, then sit in the doctor's for like 6 hours getting tons of SHOTS. that's really gonna suck. but anyways, talked to angela for a little bit on the internet....and when she went to work, i drove to fremont for comics. got the weekly stack, sat around...having the usual geekfilled convo. drove home. thought about taking a nap, but just ended up sitting around and reading a few comics. decided to hang out with matt stein for the night. havn't hung out with my buddy in such a long time, cuz he's ALWAYS working. plus he kind of went through a whole ordeal of breaking up with his longtime girlfriend, and i feel sorry for the kid...so i wanted to try and cheer him up. so i go a block over to matt's and pick him up a little after 6. we then drive to sandusky. we decide to eat dinner at quizno's. i miss quizno's in norwalk. yummmm quiznos. anyways, after that i really wanted to go to the mall, to say hi to angela while she was working. because, you know, i hadn't seen her in like, A DAY, so i missed her. we went to the mall. and ofcourse i feel awkward about going into victoria's secret. so we stand at the entrance and i yell "ANGELA!" like a jackass. she sees me and waves, at the point i was too much of a wuss to actually go in the store...so matt and i walk around for a little bit. we go to fye. we go to footlocker so matt can flirt with the girl in the referree jersey, and buy some overpriced sandles and a tshirt. i then proceed to go to eb games and babbages. and here's the kicker.... both started taking reserves yesterday morning for the nintendo wii. BOTH ARE SOLD OUT. i sort of had like a mini heart attack right then. i didn't know what to do. i was really planning on being safe, and reserving one next month. i was distraut. oh well, it gives me a chance to hang out with angela again. i guess i'll just wait in line with her and noah on november 19th. I REALLY hope they have enough. i will infact have a temper tantrum next month if i can't get me my new nintendo. anyways, i'm going off in a tangent. so i decide to go tell angela of my disgust. we talk for a little bit, but i don't wanna take to much of her time, so matt and i leave. we drive to kalahari. so apparently last night was a classmate's 22nd birthday. (kim stoll's) and i'm not usually the most social person of late. that's really the reason i don't really go to norwalk bars. i don't want to run into people. but why? i'm just being stupid. i'm 22 years old, i need to hang out with people, and have a good time. i guess sort of the reason is i just felt ashamed of myself....over things i've done. especially last year. leaving ut, coming back to norwalk to move back in with my parents with my tale between my legs. but you know what?? i am sick of being ashamed of myself. last year was a crappy year for me, but i'm glad i went through it. i'm a much stronger person for it. you know what, you have to go through the bad before you can get to the good. and i've went through some shitty experiences, but you know what, i've learned from them. and I'M STILL HERE. so whatever. i'm not ashamed of who i am. my name is jeffrey myers. take it or leave it. so ANWAYS, got off topic again. so matt and i go to kalahari. we end up going to the back bar, we usually sit up front at the little tiki bar. but we go to the back bar. we sit around, waiting for everyone to get there...we arrived kind of early. we sat there playing the touch screen bar games, while laughing at this little kid's birthday party to the left of us...where all the little kids where dancing on stage to cheesy, cheesy music. like an hour goes by. and finally everyone arrives. alot of classmates that i havn't seen in a long time show up. nikki keller, krista fritz, matt finney, brian barman. and a few kids that i see passing by at firelands, but never really get a chance to talk to... sean tyler, jessie bleile, brandon schield, and kim stoll (the birthday girl.) and here's where i kind of had a mini heart attack....they show up with liz riley. after saying hi to everyone, except liz, i didn't really know what to do. it was sooooooooo freaking awkard. ofcourse you probably know that we were pretty close for 5 years, and then it all kind of ended fast. i havn't talked to this girl in over a year, like since before last thanksgiving. so anyways we hang out by the bar, catching up. liz is on the opposite end, trying not to make eye contact with me. i continually lean over to matt and say...THIS IS REALLY AWKARD. WHY IS SHE HERE??? and by the way, kalahari is incredibly stupid....we really need to find a new hangout. the overpriced drinks. the techno and rap music. the ridiculous bar tenders who think they are tom cruise from 'cocktail.' juggling their bottles, randomly dropping them on the floor. blowing fire. woo who. not my thing. i like a place where you can chill with friends, hang, and listen to GOOD music. but anyways thats kind of beside the point again. so the night goes on, and i guess liz gets drunk enough to get the courage to come up and say hi to me and matt. which i'm glad she did, because i sure as hell was not going to say hi to her. so we really start getting into it, actually having a real conversation, probably communicating better than we ever did. we catch up, she tells me about her life, her family, and what she's been doing with her life. it was just really awkard at first, but it ended up not. i mean we were together for over 5 years, and i just thought that that was that, and that we would never talk. i mean i didn't think we could ever be like friends, that it would just be very very very weird to even try. but we talked. and it was good. i mean this girl probably knows more about me than anyone, and vise versa. i mean i don't think we could become buddies, and hang out alot...that would still be weird for me. but i'd like to get a call from her and chat every once and a while....i will admit that i miss her, and i just want her to be happy. which i thought was very big of me. i mean i'm over being attracted to her and all that...but i will always love her, and just want whats good for her. i just hope she actually remembers our conversation...she was pretty hammered. so i felt good. i felt CLOSURE. i mean i've been ready to move on for a while now, but now there is nothing lingering at all. she doesn't hate me, i think we're actually on the same page with each other. it was just always in the back of my mind that i didnt want things to end the way they did, i wanted them to be ok so i could move on with my life. and now everything is square. and i'm ready to moveeeee onnnnnn. IT FEELS GOOD. so i dunno, i kind of felt like i took like some huge personal leaps forward in my life last night. i was proud of myself. oh so i forgot...while me and liz were catching up...matt's ex girlfriend shows up at the bar. which we were all just like OHHHHH SHIT. matt ofcourse started getting really depressed. i just told him to get really drunk, because i was being responsible and driving him home. so ya, he ended up getting plastered and having a good time with all of us, and forgetting about her. which i was proud of him for... laura is really not nice to him sometimes. so pretty much everyone is wasted except for me. which i don't mind...i find it incredibly fun to watch people make total asses of themselves. gives me joy. so anyways it gets a little after one, and i decide i've had enough....and tell matt i wanna head out. we say our goodbyes to everyone and head out. and then liz asks for a ride home. which you know, whatever...i wanted to be the bigger man and make sure she got home safe. she was REALLY wasted. so i drive them home from kalahari safe. driving the speed limit. being a good boy. and then when i get into norwalk i realized i had a missed call. angela called and i missed it! you know, as stupid as this might sound...the was really the cap of a good night. i was really happy to talk to her for a while before i went to bed. made me feel good. she always makes me feel good. i've been so happy lately getting to know her more. we hang up around 3 because it sounds like she's dosing off, and she has to get up early to open at victorias secret anyways. i get ready for bed, and go to sleep. all and all...friday the 13th....was a good night.

but you know what, after all that drama....i need me some angela time today. which i will get. she gets off work later this afternoon, and then i get to meet her bff erin. i'm pretty excited to meet her. i'm more excited just to hang out with angela sutter some more. i think we're gonna go see a movie or something. until then....i'm gonna get in the shower now...cuz i feel dirty. then i'll probably spend the afternoon engrossed in some COMIC BOOKS. oh ya. so ya.... i'm really starting to be happy with where i'm at in life now. i'm not ashamed of myself. i live, and i LEARN. and in the end, things work out for the better. usually. in no way am i giving up, i've got a long road ahead of me. got to finish school. got to move the hell out of this house. but you know what? baby steps people. baby steps. i'm in a good mood. and i'm gonna stop talking now.

that's all i got for now.
later.